Mini Review

The Astronaut's Wife (1999)

Last Watch Date - May 30, 2023
Total Times Watched - Twice.


The last time I saw this movie was over 20 years ago. I can still remember one of the lines that I misheard at the time and for all these years thought he was saying "the warmth of your cunt" BUT it turns out he says "the warmth of your cum." I don't know what's worse. I remember somewhat liking the movie the first go-round, so why not revisit it and see how I feel all these years later!

As it turns out, I didn't really like it. There's nothing in particular that I didn't like. Something about how it came together. I don't know. It's funny because I do like the cast overall. It's hard to beat Charlize Theron and late-90s Depp. Their performances are both fine for what is there, so I don't think it's them specifically.

The story behind this is not all that compelling. Maybe if I were a woman it would be more of an intense feeling of body horror. I can't identify with being impregnated by my husband-alien. CAN YOU? Maybe. If you can, maybe you'll like it and find it creepier than I did. Instead, I was mildly annoyed at what could've been a good tense mood but was more of a forced feeling. If you take out the alien aspect, this movie is no different than any sort of forced pregnancy movie. Funny how that is back in the news all these years later.

When it comes to the sci-fi aspects of this, I wish it got a bit deeper into it. It's so glossed over that you could watch this and not even realize there's alien stuff in it. Aside from one character (who rather than fleshing out and making you skeptical via idosyncrasies they play it up with over-the-top twitching and camera zooms), no one talks about anything relating to space or aliens beyond the first few minutes. 


Nah, skip it. After watching it, I read that it was pretty thoroughly panned and I can see why. It's a hackneyed plot with a minor sci-fi paint job to pretend it's something else. The tension doesn't work. I bet this is what Johnny Depp is actually like in his relationships, though.

3 Pilots out of 10