Mini Review

The 13th Warrior (1999)

Last Watch Date - February 2, 2022
Total Times Watched - This used to be a movie I'd go to sleep to..


Would you like to hear a tale about a FIRE WYRM? The 13th Warrior is based on Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton. Before you say "that's also based on Beowulf!" let me tell you that I know this, but this story is different enough (though not very different) that it kind of doesn't matter. I mean, it's not even THAT close to Eaters of the Dead. There are similarities, but if you read the book first, you're not going to go in knowing all of the details of this.

Antonio Banderas, noted Spanish actor, plays an Arab playboy? I guess you could say, who gets banished to the lands of the Norsemen - vulgar barbarians who drink and spit into the same communal bowl! The horror! Because a mad witch says someone foreign has to complete the party, he gets thrown into the fray and from there, we see the story unfold.

Without giving any of the plot away, let me say that this movie is DARK. Not in tone, although, it's also dark in tone I guess.. I mean it's literally dark. Good luck seeing what's going on in half of it. I'm not sure if that was an intentional choice (cheaper?) or if it's bad camera work or direction. I'm not a film maker, ok? Cut me some slack. What I DO know is that this movie is somehow one of the most soothing action movies I've ever seen. It has intensity for sure, but it also has a lot of downtime and introspection. I really like the characters and how their relationships progress after a bit of hand-wavey learning-a-full-language-overnight-by-listening.


Absolutely recommend this movie. It's not the best thing you'll ever see, but I'd be amazed if you didn't enjoy it.

8 Dogs out of 10