Vampires Suck (2010)
Last Watch Date - November 17, 2025
Total Times Watched - One
Comments
My wife and daughter love Twilight. I have no explanation for this. I've seen most of the movies and they are absolute garbo. Does that stop them from loving the series!? NO. I like Puppet Master and Leprechaun though so who am I to talk?
This movie is a super corny parody of that series. The girl that plays Becca is SO good at playing Kristen Stewart. I'm shocked she hasn't been in more stuff. Maybe she sucks at other acting. There are a lot of faces you'll know in this like Ken Jeong, Diedrich Bader, Ike Barinholtz, and Dave Foley. I don't think you'll recognize any of the main characters though. I SURE DIDN'T.
The jokes in this range from total non sequitur to on-the-nose. Many of them fall flat. Some are so stupid that they made me laugh. I don't remember any really good ones. The best was probably the Jacob transformation. The story mostly follows the first few Twilight movies with some silly beats sprinkled in. There are some massive changes to it, but it's mostly the same. I do wish they parodied the baseball scene. That scene is so flippin' stupid that it's almost parody itself.
Luckily for all of you fine viewers, this movie only lasts about 80 minutes. It does feel like it's starting to wear its welcome in parts so I'm glad it wasn't any longer. Somehow this movie has only a 4% score on Rotten Tomatoes. If you're going to see this movie, you know what you're going to get. I don't understand why it would be held to a high bar.
Recommended?
No, but it's not the worst way to spend 80 minutes.
