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Terrifier (2016)

Last Watch Date – October 2, 2022
Total Times Watched – Once

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Seeing the news that a Terrifier 2 was going to come out, I figured I’d watch this to see what all the fuss was about. I went in not knowing really anything at all about it. Normally, that’s a good thing but I kind of wish I knew what I was getting into before watching this.

It’s just not my cup of tea, this genre. It’s kind of like a slasher, but it’s far more into the gore side of things than most slashers. There’s not enough tension and build-up, nor do I care about ANY of the characters at all. You might say “but you like 80s slashers and the characters are paper-thin in that too!” and you’d be right. But while this movie has a clown that’s far too over-the-top to be remotely scary (not to mention his fragile looking frame), those movies had iconic villains like Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger. All of them got silly over time, but their original incarnations (Halloween, F13th 2-4, A Nightmare on Elm Street) are NOT silly and can be pretty frightening.

Art the Clown kind of brings all of those together in a way where he apparently feels no pain or can shrug off “severe head trauma” with no issues, he has all sorts of contraptions and setup to take people down even though it’s some sort of random building, and he stalks them all efficiently. He seems too efficient, really. Even the 80s guys missed out on people here and there or didn’t execute (heh) things perfectly. The biggest sin of this movie is having him be a totally silent killer who only gestures or smiles. Even his laughing is silent. It’s more annoying than anything. And not to harp on it, but this dude probably weighs about 140 pounds soaking wet. Not like tiny guy with muscles 140. 6′ guy of skin and bones 140. I’m sorry for not being more concerned by him. Oh, and did I mention he has the face of a punch doll? They’re really leaning into the clown aspect.

The budget on this looks like it’s probably more than the old 80s movies, but it’s still really cheesy looking. My guess is that they spent all of their money on fake blood and prosthetics because the rest of it is, well, bad. The acting is also terrible, but I guess that’s to be expected. There isn’t even that much dialogue in this movie, yet somehow it feels like everyone is doing community theater.

For a movie that I theoretically should like, this sure was a chore to watch. I’m going to say it’s probably one of my least favorite (read: hated) horror movies I’ve ever watched and I’ve seen some horrific movies (in the terrible movie sense, not the scary sense).

Recommended?

If you’re into the “scary clown” thing or like cheesy gore, sure. Otherwise, skip it.

Rating – 2 Pizza Slices out of 10