The NFL is SO over. It’s time to move on to the real event of the year: spring football via the USFL (part deux)! Sure, these teams existed once in the past before, but now they’re back 30 years later with new coaches and a new twist on their logos and uniforms. Plus they all have new coaches. If we’re going to figure out which team(s) to root for, we have to rank them somehow!
Power rank will be calculated by totaling the team’s points for each category. There are eight teams, but we’re ranking these on a scale of 1-10. The highest score means that’s the team to root for! The categories are as follows:
Coach – Most points for the best coach or most potential coming in. Who knows how these teams will play, but we can at least give them some points for a known commodity.
Name – How cool is the name? Probably not very cool.
Colors – It’s important to pick a team that you can wear their gear without looking like a fool. Some uniforms can look great on the field, but if you’re wearing that stuff outside of the event, you look like some sort of Harlequin.
Uniforms – How does it all come together on the field? I mean, aside from their play. This is about LOOKS. We’re superficial here.
Retro-future – How well did you handle an old brand and bring it into the new era?
Coach – Kirby Wilson
If you’re looking at that name and wondering “who is Kirby Wilson?” don’t fret. He has been a position coach in the NFL for 23 years. That means you’ve likely never heard of him. It also means he doesn’t have head coaching experience, nor does he have GM experience. It’ll be interesting to see how he builds his team and if this was a hidden gem or potentially someone in way over their head.
Score – 2
Name – Maulers
This name is pretty great. The only one I can think that’s better is Invaders and we don’t have any of them!
Score – 9
Colors – Purple and Renaissance Red (aka Orange)
I’m not sure how that color is “red” in any way, but if you’re into the Clemson Tigers, you’re going to enjoy this combo.
Score – 2
Uhhh, these are definitely uniforms. The contrasting shoulders are a bizarre choice. Maybe just leave them as purple or white. If you want to slap the orange.. sorry, Renaissance Red, on them, use it sparingly as a highlight. Purple and white would’ve been a solid combo. There’s too much orange here and that’s coming from someone who LOVES orange.
Score – 2
The similarities between old and new pretty much end at the logo and overall colors. While the old purple was a bit darker, they went with a brighter purple in the new era. Forget those dingy gray pants, we’re going WHITE! And who needs multiple stripes on your pants when you can slap one giant block purple instead? The logo modernization is an improvement but it’s so minor that .. who cares. The old ones were better by a mile.
Score – 3
Total – 18 out of 50
The Keystone State is really struggling with these USFL teams.