The NFL is SO over. It’s time to move on to the real event of the year: spring football via the USFL (part deux)! Sure, these teams existed once in the past before, but now they’re back 30 years later with new coaches and a new twist on their logos and uniforms. Plus they all have new coaches. If we’re going to figure out which team(s) to root for, we have to rank them somehow!
Power rank will be calculated by totaling the team’s points for each category. There are eight teams, but we’re ranking these on a scale of 1-10. The highest score means that’s the team to root for! The categories are as follows:
Coach – Most points for the best coach or most potential coming in. Who knows how these teams will play, but we can at least give them some points for a known commodity.
Name – How cool is the name? Probably not very cool.
Colors – It’s important to pick a team that you can wear their gear without looking like a fool. Some uniforms can look great on the field, but if you’re wearing that stuff outside of the event, you look like some sort of Harlequin.
Uniforms – How does it all come together on the field? I mean, aside from their play. This is about LOOKS. We’re superficial here.
Retro-future – How well did you handle an old brand and bring it into the new era?
New Jersey Generals
Coach – Mike Riley
Mike Riley has the most varied experience of any of the coaches in the league, but I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily a positive. He has coached in the CFL, WLAF, NFL, NCAA, AAF, and the XFL. Seriously. It’s positive that he has the experience of professional leagues as well as college, but he’s never been particularly great. The San Antonio Commanders were probably the second-best team in the AAF under his leadership, though.
Score – 7
Name – Generals
Generals.. a general name.
Score – 5
Colors – Scarlet, Gold, and Navy Blue
Another red team. At least they’re primarily only red and white. The navy and gold are more of highlights than anything, so you can easily wear their merch.
Score – 7
These uniforms are solid. Nothing fancy, nothing gaudy, nothing horrible. They modernized the logo well without making it weird, and the uniforms just look clean. There was potential here for a nightmare redesign, but they did well.
Score – 7
Aside from the logo redesign, these are basically the same jerseys they had in the 80s.
Score – 9
Total – 34 out of 50
Surprisingly high for a team I thought would fall to the bottom.