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Birmingham Stallions Team Rating

The NFL is SO over. It’s time to move on to the real event of the year: spring football via the USFL (part deux)! Sure, these teams existed once in the past before, but now they’re back 30 years later with new coaches and a new twist on their logos and uniforms. Plus they all have new coaches. If we’re going to figure out which team(s) to root for, we have to rank them somehow!

Scoring

Power rank will be calculated by totaling the team’s points for each category. There are eight teams, but we’re ranking these on a scale of 1-10. The highest score means that’s the team to root for! The categories are as follows:

Coach – Most points for the best coach or most potential coming in. Who knows how these teams will play, but we can at least give them some points for a known commodity.

Name – How cool is the name? Probably not very cool.

Colors – It’s important to pick a team that you can wear their gear without looking like a fool. Some uniforms can look great on the field, but if you’re wearing that stuff outside of the event, you look like some sort of Harlequin.

Uniforms – How does it all come together on the field? I mean, aside from their play. This is about LOOKS. We’re superficial here.

Retro-future – How well did you handle an old brand and bring it into the new era?

Birmingham Stallions

Coach – Skip Holtz

Holtz has the pedigree you’d want in a college coach, but doesn’t really have much success at the collegiate level. He has been a head coach four times at different lower level schools, but didn’t really fail except during his stint at South Florida, losing more games each year as he went. His latest coaching job was at Louisiana Tech where he fizzled out his tenure with a 3-9 record before getting the boot.

Score – 4

Name – Stallions

It’s not used in the NFL, so it gets a bonus for that. But it’s pretty mediocre.

Score – 5

Colors – Red and Gold

At least it’s vegas gold? The colors are very similar to the 49ers, though the gold is more sandy than red/orange like the 49ers. It’s .. ok.

Score – 5

Uniforms

It’s weird to me that they picked white pants and a giant red stripe on the helmet and pants, but a standard Northwestern stripe for the sleeves. These are pretty mediocre overall.

Score – 4

Retro-Future

They look quite similar. The big difference is the giant stripe on the helmet now vs their old uniforms that only had a giant stripe on the leg. Also the logo revamp which definitely modernizes it but I don’t think it’s a step up personally.

Score – 7

Total – 25 out of 50

Consistently mediocre, without the peaks and troughs.